FAMILY UNITY IN ISLAM

Islam has placed tremendous emphasis on the establishment, maintenance and preservation of family kinship. Various Quranic verses and Ahadith instruct Muslims to be kind, merciful, affectionate and caring towards parents and relatives. Maintaining the bonds of kinship (silatur rahim) enjoys extraordinary importance in Islam. Conversely, severing family ties (qat'ur rahim) can lead one to a disastrous end.

Due to the importance Islam has accorded to maintaining family ties, the rewards and benefits of doing so are indeed great. Similarly, neglect and severing family ties can have disastrous consequences on a person's life. It therefore becomes imperative that every Muslim is soundly educated regarding this important obligation.

Factors that maintain family unity

Regular Visits - In an era when the words “no time” have become a formidable cliché, Muslims are duty bound to keep close contact with family relatives by visiting each other regularly. The trend today is to visit someone if there is some material or worldly benefit, or only if they keep contact with us. Relatives should be visited solely for the pleasure of Allah swt and to create and maintain muhabbat (love) in the family.

Mutual Assistance - Assisting one's relatives carries two reward; one reward for assisting and one reward for bonding family ties. These noble qualities will also be a practical means of guidance for the children. In this way family relationships are strengthened and can be maintained for generations. Certain people feel uncomfortable to assist relatives if they require financial help in the form of Zakaat, etc. This manner of thought should be corrected.

Rasulullah saw said, “Sadaqah given to a poor person is an ordinary sadaqah, but sadaqah given to a relative serves two purposes: one as a sadaqah and secondly, an act of upholding family kinship.” (Tirmizi)

Rasulullah saw also said, “Whosever desires to have expansion in his sustenance and a prolonged life, should treat his relatives with kindness.” (Bukhari & Muslim)

Abundant Greeting - Increasing salaam to each other creates muhabbat (love). Rasulullah saw has urged Muslims to spread salaam. Those who initiate salaam are protected from pride and haughtiness.

Exchanging Gifts - Showering relatives with gifts is also an effective method of generating love between people. Rasulullah saw said, “Exchange gifts with one another, you will create love and goodwill amongst yourselves.” (Abu Ya'laa)

Severe warnings for those who sever family

Just as the reward and rank for maintaining family unity is great and fulfilling, similarly the warnings and sin for severing and breaking ties is equally detrimental. Allah swt has cursed the one severing family ties, “And those who break the covenant of Allah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allah has commanded to be joined (i.e. they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives) and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse, and for them is the unhappy home (i.e. Hell)” (Surah Ar Rad)

A cursed person is one who is deprived of the mercy of Allah swt. This sin is punishable in this world as well as in the Hereafter. “There is no sin more deserving of having punishment meted out by Allah to its perpetrator in advance in this world along with what He has for him in the next world than oppression and severing family ties.” (Tirmizi)

A Hadith highlights the rank and importance of this duty: “Rahim (family ties) is a word derived from Allah's special quality, Ar Rahman (The Compassionate One). And Allah says: 'I shall keep connection with him who maintains you and sever connection with him who severs you.'” (Bukhari)

A person should love someone solely for the pleasure of Allah swt. If there is need to dislike someone for Shariah reasons this should also be for the pleasure of Allah swt. If a person is compelled to sever ties with a family member due to a genuine Shariah reason, then the aforementioned warnings will not be applicable.

Family disputes and differences should be resolved early and amicably. Procrastination in resolving family matters can lead to explosive situations. Ulama should be consulted in good faith and the matter should be put forward factually, honestly and sincerely.