REMEMBERING DEATH.....

The Muslims are encouraged to remember about death..so that we will always do good and steer away from evil deeds because Muslims believe that there is a life after death….Muslims believe the life on this earth is only a transition period that precedes the latter life.

Winning the latter life is the goal of every Muslim. This is achieved through gaining Allah's satisfaction through believing in Him and following His commands and prescriptions. The reward for those who gain Allah's satisfaction and forgiveness is Heaven, and that for those who strayed is Hell. Muslims are advised by Prophet Muhammad saw to work for this life as if we are living forever, and work for the latter life as if we are dying tomorrow. This saying highlights the balance that Muslims are to work towards achieving in their life on earth

Life slips away second by second. Are you aware that every day brings you closer to death or that death is as close to you as it is to other people?

As we are told in the verse "Every soul shall taste death in the end; to Us shall you be brought back." (Surat al-'Ankabut: 57) everyone who has ever appeared on this earth was destined to die. Without exception they all died, every one. Today, we hardly come across the traces of many of these people who passed away. Those currently living and those who will ever live will also face death on a predestined day. Despite this fact, people tend to see death as an unlikely incident.

Think of a baby who has just opened its eyes to the world and a man who is about to breathe his last. Both had no influence on their individual birth or death whatsoever. Only God possesses the power to inspire the breath of life or to take it away.

All human beings will live until a certain day and then die; God in the Qur'an gives an account of the attitude commonly shown towards death in the following verse:

Say: "The death from which you flee will truly overtake you: then you will be sent back to the Knower of things secret and open: and He will tell you (the truth of) the things that you did!" (Surat al-Jumu'ah: 8)

The majority of people avoid thinking about death. In the rapid flow of daily events, a person usually occupies himself with totally different subjects: what college to enroll in, which company to work for, what color of clothing to wear next morning, what to cook for supper; these are the kinds of major issues that we usually consider. Life is perceived as a routine process of such minor matters. Attempts to talk about death are always interrupted by those who do not feel comfortable hearing about it. Assuming death will come only when one grows older, one does not want to concern himself with such an unpleasant subject. Yet it should be kept in mind that living for even one further hour is never guaranteed. Everyday, man witnesses the deaths of people around him but thinks little about the day when others will witness his own death. He never supposes that such an end is awaiting him!

Nevertheless, when death comes to man, all the "realities" of life suddenly vanish. No reminder of the "good old days" endures in this world. Think of everything that you are able to do right now: you can blink your eyes, move your body, speak, laugh; all these are functions of your body. Now think about the state and shape your body will assume after your death.

From the moment you breathe for the last time, you will become nothing but a "heap of flesh". Your body, silent and motionless, will be carried to the morgue. There, it will be washed for the last time. Wrapped in a shroud, your corpse will be carried in a coffin to the graveyard. Once your remains are in the grave, soil will cover you. This is the end of your story. From now on, you are simply one of the names represented in the graveyard by a marble stone.

During the first months or years, your grave will be visited frequently. As time passes, fewer people will come. Decades later, there will be no-one.

Meanwhile, your immediate family members will experience a different aspect of your death. At home, your room and bed will be empty. After the funeral, little of what belongs to you will be kept at home: most of your clothes, shoes, etc, will be given to those who need them. Your file at the public registration office will be deleted or archived. During the first years, some will mourn for you. Yet, time will work against the memories you left behind. Four or five decades later, there will remain only a few who remember you. Before long, new generations will come and none of your generation will exist any longer on earth. Whether you are remembered or not will be worthless to you.

While all this is taking place in the world, the corpse under the soil will go through a rapid process of decay. Soon after you are placed in the grave, the bacteria and insects proliferating in the corpse due to the absence of oxygen will start to function. The gasses released from these organisms will inflate the body, starting from the abdomen, altering its shape and appearance. Bloody froth will pop out the mouth and nose due to the pressure of gasses on the diaphragm. As corruption proceeds, body hair, nails, soles, and palms will fall off. Accompanying this outer alteration in the body, internal organs such as lungs, heart and liver will also decay. In the meantime, the most horrible scene takes place in the abdomen, where the skin can no longer bear the pressure of gasses and suddenly bursts, spreading an unendurably disgusting smell. Starting from the skull, muscles will detach from their particular places. Skin and soft tissues will completely disintegrate. The brain will decay and start looking like clay. This process will go on until the whole body is reduced to a skeleton.

There is no chance of going back to the old life again. Gathering around the supper table with family members, socializing or to having an honorable job will never again be possible.

In short, the "heap of flesh and bones" to which we assign an identity faces a quite nasty end. On the other hand, you - or rather, your soul - will leave this body as soon as you breathe your last. The remainder of you - your body - will become part of the soil.

Yes, but what is the reason for all these things happening?

If God willed, the body would never have decayed in such a way. That it does so actually carries a very important inner message in itself.

The tremendous end awaiting man should make him acknowledge that he is not a body himself, but a soul "encased" within a body. In other words, man has to acknowledge that he has an existence beyond his body. Furthermore, man should understand the death of his body which he tries to possess as if he is to remain eternally in this temporal world. However this body, which he deems so important, will decay and become worm-eaten one day and finally be reduced to a skeleton. That day might be very soon.

Despite all these facts, man's mental process is inclined to disregard what he does not like or want. He is even inclined to deny the existence of things he avoids confronting. This tendency seems to be most apparent when death is the issue. Only a funeral or the sudden death of an immediate family member brings this reality to mind. Almost everybody sees death far from himself. The assumption is that those who die while sleeping or in an accident are different people and what they face will never befall us! Everybody thinks it is too early to die and that there are always years ahead to live.

Yet most probably, people who die on the way to school or hurrying to attend a business meeting shared the same thought. They probably never thought that the next day's newspapers would publish news of their deaths. It is entirely possible that, as you read these lines, you still do not expect to die soon after you have finished them or even entertain the possibility that it might happen. Probably you feel that it is too early to die because there are many things to accomplish. However, this is just an avoidance of death and these are only vain endeavors to escape it:

Say: "Running away will not profit you if you are running away from death or slaughter; and even if (you do escape), no more than a brief (respite) will you be allowed to enjoy!"(Surat al-Ahzab: 16)

Man who is created alone should be aware that he will also die alone. Yet during his life, he lives almost addicted to possessions. His sole purpose in life becomes to possess more. Yet, no-one can take his goods with him to the grave. The body is buried wrapped in a shroud made from the cheapest of fabrics. The body comes into this world alone and departs from it in the same way. The only asset one can take with him when one dies is one's belief or disbelief.

FAMILY UNITY IN ISLAM

Islam has placed tremendous emphasis on the establishment, maintenance and preservation of family kinship. Various Quranic verses and Ahadith instruct Muslims to be kind, merciful, affectionate and caring towards parents and relatives. Maintaining the bonds of kinship (silatur rahim) enjoys extraordinary importance in Islam. Conversely, severing family ties (qat'ur rahim) can lead one to a disastrous end.

Due to the importance Islam has accorded to maintaining family ties, the rewards and benefits of doing so are indeed great. Similarly, neglect and severing family ties can have disastrous consequences on a person's life. It therefore becomes imperative that every Muslim is soundly educated regarding this important obligation.

Factors that maintain family unity

Regular Visits - In an era when the words “no time” have become a formidable cliché, Muslims are duty bound to keep close contact with family relatives by visiting each other regularly. The trend today is to visit someone if there is some material or worldly benefit, or only if they keep contact with us. Relatives should be visited solely for the pleasure of Allah swt and to create and maintain muhabbat (love) in the family.

Mutual Assistance - Assisting one's relatives carries two reward; one reward for assisting and one reward for bonding family ties. These noble qualities will also be a practical means of guidance for the children. In this way family relationships are strengthened and can be maintained for generations. Certain people feel uncomfortable to assist relatives if they require financial help in the form of Zakaat, etc. This manner of thought should be corrected.

Rasulullah saw said, “Sadaqah given to a poor person is an ordinary sadaqah, but sadaqah given to a relative serves two purposes: one as a sadaqah and secondly, an act of upholding family kinship.” (Tirmizi)

Rasulullah saw also said, “Whosever desires to have expansion in his sustenance and a prolonged life, should treat his relatives with kindness.” (Bukhari & Muslim)

Abundant Greeting - Increasing salaam to each other creates muhabbat (love). Rasulullah saw has urged Muslims to spread salaam. Those who initiate salaam are protected from pride and haughtiness.

Exchanging Gifts - Showering relatives with gifts is also an effective method of generating love between people. Rasulullah saw said, “Exchange gifts with one another, you will create love and goodwill amongst yourselves.” (Abu Ya'laa)

Severe warnings for those who sever family

Just as the reward and rank for maintaining family unity is great and fulfilling, similarly the warnings and sin for severing and breaking ties is equally detrimental. Allah swt has cursed the one severing family ties, “And those who break the covenant of Allah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allah has commanded to be joined (i.e. they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives) and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse, and for them is the unhappy home (i.e. Hell)” (Surah Ar Rad)

A cursed person is one who is deprived of the mercy of Allah swt. This sin is punishable in this world as well as in the Hereafter. “There is no sin more deserving of having punishment meted out by Allah to its perpetrator in advance in this world along with what He has for him in the next world than oppression and severing family ties.” (Tirmizi)

A Hadith highlights the rank and importance of this duty: “Rahim (family ties) is a word derived from Allah's special quality, Ar Rahman (The Compassionate One). And Allah says: 'I shall keep connection with him who maintains you and sever connection with him who severs you.'” (Bukhari)

A person should love someone solely for the pleasure of Allah swt. If there is need to dislike someone for Shariah reasons this should also be for the pleasure of Allah swt. If a person is compelled to sever ties with a family member due to a genuine Shariah reason, then the aforementioned warnings will not be applicable.

Family disputes and differences should be resolved early and amicably. Procrastination in resolving family matters can lead to explosive situations. Ulama should be consulted in good faith and the matter should be put forward factually, honestly and sincerely.

FAMILY RELATIONSHIP IN ISLAM

I realized that the family values have deteriorated in all cultures in the world today (including in the Muslim society). Why? Where did we go wrong here? If the trend is not stopped, what will happen to the future generations, and I shudder just to think of it….

Islam considers the family the corner stone of Islamic society. It bases the atmosphere in the family on sacrifice, love, loyalty, and obedience. When we say "family" we mean the traditional definition of it namely husband, wife and children. Grandparents are also part of the extended Muslim family.

It may be asked here: how does Islam organize family relationships? To answer this we have to concentrate on: husband- wife relationship and parent-children relationship. As for husband- wife relationship the following verse portrays the right Islamic atmosphere:

"And among his signs is this: He created for you spouses from yourselves that you might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy." (Quran, 30:21)

The Prophet saw also stressed these meanings when he said: The best among you are those who are best to their families and I am the best of you to my family. He once exclaimed: (it is only the evil one who abuses them (women) and the honoured one is he who honours them). Once a man came to the Prophet saw and asked: who is the person who is most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet saw answered your mother, your mother, your mother then your father. That is why Islam made Paradise under the feet of mothers according to one tradition of the Prophet saw.

If we contemplate the Quran we find that it refers to parent-children relationships in four main places. Before it asks children to be good and loyal to their parents it requires parents to be extremely careful in upbringing their children. In other words it asks parents to do their duty before asking for their rights.

Let us contemplate the following verses of the Quran: In the chapter called Luqman (No.31) Allay swt says:

"And surely We gave Luqman wisdom saying Give thanks unto Allah; for whosoever gives thanks, he gives thanks for his soul. And whoever disbelieves, Allah is All-Independent, Worthy of Praise. And when Luqman said to his son while he was exhorting him: O my dear son! Ascribe no partners unto Allah. Lo! To ascribe partners (unto Him) is a tremendous wrong. And we have enjoined upon man to be careful of his parents, His mother bears him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years, so give thanks to Me and to your parents, for unto Me is the journeying. But if they strive with you to make you ascribe to Me as partner that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but deal with them nicely in the world and follow the path of him who repents to Me. Then unto Me will be your return, and I shall tell you of what you used to do."

The Quran then continues:

"O my son! Lo! Though it be but the weight of a grain of mustard seed, and though it be in a rock, or in the heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. For Allah is Subtle, Aware. O my son! Establish prayer, enjoin goodness, forbid iniquity and bear with patience whatever may befall you. For that is the steadfast heart of things. Turn not your cheek in scorn towards people, nor walk the earth with pretenses, for Allah loves not each braggart boaster. Be modest in your bearing and subdue your voice for Lo! The harshest of all voices is the voice of the ass" (31: 12-19).

These verses provide Muslim parents with the way they should bring up their children, unless they do so, they can expect rebellion and hatred from them; but the devoted parents have full right to what the following verses from chapter 17 enjoin. In this chapter called the Night Journey Allah swt says:

"Your Lord has decreed that you worship non but Him, and that (you show) kindness to parents. Should one or both of them attain to old age with you, Say not "Fie'' unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word. And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both as they did care for me when I was little. Your Lord is best aware of what is in yourselves. If you are righteous, then Lo! He was ever forgiving unto those who turn unto Him" (17: 23-25).

These are the two main chapters of the Quran that decide and clearly depict the Islamic relationship between parents and their children. It is a relationship based as we see on belief in Allah swt, and feeling that He observes all what we do and that we are accountable to Him even in the bad breath that we may release against our parents when we are angry. Even this has to be controlled.

Let us remember, however, that it is only parents who do their duty, who deserve this honourable treatment of their children. That is why when a parent came to the Prophet saw and complained to him about the ingratitude of his son, the son said: He was ungrateful to me O Messenger of Allah, before I showed ingratitude to him. So the Prophet saw did not blame the son but disliked the attitude of his parent. This is a message to all parents.

The third place in the Holy Quran that refers to parent-children relationship is in chapter 46 called Al Ahqaf where Allah swt says:

"And we have enjoined unto man kindness toward parents. His mother bears him with reluctance and delivers him with reluctance. His bearing and weaning are thirty months, till when he attains full strength and reaches forty years, he says: My Lord! Arouse me that I may give thanks for the favour where with you have favoured me and my parents, and I may do right acceptable unto you. And be gracious unto me concerning my seed. I have turned unto you repentant and Lo! I am one of Muslims."

Concerning this type of children the Quran has the following comment: those are they from whom We accept the best of what they do, and We overlook their evil deeds among the owners of Paradise. This is the true promise, which they used to be promised (in the world).

The Quran then turns to the other category of children who are disbelievers and are as a result ungrateful to their parents. It declares:

"As for him who said to his parents: Fie upon you both! Do you threaten me that I shall be brought forth when generations before me have passed away! While they too cry unto Allah for help and say: Woe unto you! Believe! Lo! The promise of Allah is true. But he said: This is nothing but fables of the men of old."

Commenting on this attitude Allah swt says:

"Such are those whom the Word concerning nations of Jinn and mankind which have passed away before has effect. Lo! They are the losers. And for each there will be degrees due to what they did; and He may recompense them in full for their deeds! And they will not be wronged." (46: 15-19).

The fourth and last place in the Quran that refers to parent-children relationship is what is mentioned briefly in chapter 29 that says:

"We have enjoined on man kindness to parents. And should they strive to make you join with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto me is your return and I shall tell you what you used to do". (29:8).

This verse refers mainly to the unbelieving parents who still have the rights of obedience on their Muslim children unless they ask them to rebel against Allah swt. In this case they should not be obeyed, but doing good to them should continue regardless of the difference of religion.

In conclusion since the family is the corner stone of society, happiness and prosperity will only be achieved if parents as well as children are committed to the guidance of the Quran, the only guidance proved to be successful.