Monday, August 31, 2009

HAPPY 52ND INDEPENDENCE DAY, MALAYSIA!!!!!



Today, Malaysians all around the world celebrate our nation’s 52nd Independence Day!!!!


Malaysia – I am proud to be your citizen….may you prosper and stay peaceful…..


HANDLING GRIEF AND SORROW.....



Muslims are advised to comfort the bereaved person by visiting them, strengthening their faith, offering them food, and reciting the Quran. Although grieving may never fully end, the period of outward mourning lasts no more than three days.


Muslims believe that all suffering, life, death, joy and happiness are derived from Allah swt and that Allah swt is the one who gives us strength to survive. These beliefs are usually sources of comfort and strength that aid the healing process. For example, in accepting grief and loss, the relatives of the deceased person are urged to be patient (sabr) and accept Allah s decree. 'Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, same loss in goods, lives and the fruits of your toil, but give glad tiding to those who patiently persevere. Who say, when afflicted with calamity: To Allah we belong, and to Him is our return' (Quran: 62). People who have patience in accepting Allah's decree will be given a reward from Him.


'I have no reward other than paradise for my believing servant who is patient when I take away one of his beloved from among his companions of the world', or 'Whatever trouble, illness, anxiety, grief, pain and sorrow afflicts a Muslim, even if it is the pricking of a thorn - Allah removes same of his sins because of it' (Quran: 63 and 58).




This doesn't mean that Muslims should not grieve when they lose someone close to them. Bereavement is an upsetting and traumatic experience and it might comfort the mourner to know that such reactions and feelings are almost universal responses to loss, and that they are not sinful. Shock, disbelief, denial anger, guilt, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are common human reactions to the loss of a loved one. Muslims are allowed to express these feelings, it will be damaging for them to suppress them since the loss has to be acknowledged, the different emotions of grief have to be freed, new skills may need to be developed, and emotional energy channelled into new life.


It is permissible to cry and express grief over the death of a loved one, however, extreme lamentation is discouraged. In Islam it is permitted to weep softly, before someone had died, at the time of death, and after. A number of respected Hadiths describe that on several occasions the Prophet Muhammad saw cried when one of his loved ones died. For example, when the Prophet saw re-visited the grave of his mother he cried, and encouraged others to weep - this was many years after her death (the Prophet's mother died when he was at the age of six). Likewise, after the Uhud battle, when burying one of his companions, 'Uthman ibn Madh'um', the prophet Muhammad saw also shed tears. Again, when giving the news of the death of Ja'far and his companions in the battle against the Romans, he spoke with tears streaming down his face.


Although, wailing, eulogizing and tearing one's clothes are still common among some Muslims, such conduct is discouraged in Islam. A few words are allowed to be said when crying over a deceased person, but words should be true and not accompanied by wailing and expressions of dissatisfaction with the decree of God.


For instance, when the Prophet’s son, Ibrahim, died, the prophet said' We are very sad for your death, O Ibrahim', This is not an indication of discontent with the decree of God or complaining against Him


Individuals are encouraged to talk about and remember their loved one and recall the good deeds of their life. Prophet Muhammad saw himself never forgot his love for his beloved wife, Khadijah, even years after her death.


Muslims also believe that Allah swt appoints a time for each person to pass from this existence into the next and that death is inevitable and will take place when the time is right and there is after death life. The tragedy of a person's death is not the end of the story, hence to the majority of Muslims, it is illogical to grieve the loss of some who have simply left this world and gone to other life. Although it is an unquestionable and held belief that the next life will come, it is still unhealthy to skip over the tragedy and feeling of loss too rapidly.


Muslims are advised to turn to Allah swt in their time of distress and grief. The use of religious parables, the life story of the prophet Muhammad saw and the multiple losses of his loved ones, are all beneficial when dealing with grief, as are Hadith and 'surah' from the Quran such as:

'He guides to Himself those who turn to Him in penitence, those who believe and whose heart has rest in the remembrance of Allah. Verily in remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest. ' (Qur'an 13:27-28)


COPING WITH DEATH OF LOVED ONES



My father just lost his best friend two days ago….. at the age of 70, my father told me that his friend was the only living soul that he could talk and share all his feelings to…they were close since 30 years ago…and he took the loss quite badly….


Since we are all humans and the fact of life remains….all living things must die one day…only that we do not know…when and how…


If one suffers death of someone whom he dearly loved, then he should remember that our children, spouses, parents, friends, and other family members are but trusts from Allah swt. A wife is a trust to her husband while her husband is a trust to her. A child is a trust to his/her parents while the parents are a trust to the child. As these trusts provide us with comfort and support, Allah swt tests us to see how we deal with them and how we take care of these trusts. He reserves the right to take back these trusts, and He does so when the term He sets for a trust expires. The Prophet saw consoled his daughter when her baby was sick as saying:

Whatever Allah takes away or gives, belongs to Him, and everything has a fixed term (in this world). (Bukhari and Muslim)


Therefore, one should not show despair or displeasure at Allah swt but remain calm and patient even at the death of his or her dearest one.


Imam Muslim narrates a hadith about a female Companion of the Prophet saw that is a paramount example of patience and faith. To reproduce the hadith briefly, her name was Umm Sulaim. One of her sons was very sick while her husband, Abu Talha, was away in business. The son eventually died, and she told her family members not to tell this to her husband when he returns until she breaks this to him herself. When Abu Talha returned, she presented the supper before him and he ate. She then beautified herself in the best way like she never did before.


After they had spend the night together and Abu Talha was satisfied, she told him, “O Abu Talha! If some people borrow something from another family who then ask for that to be returned, should they refuse to give it back?”

He replied, “No”.

“Then”, she said, “hope reward for your son”.

Abu Talha immediately understood that their son was dead.


After burying his son in the morning, he went tothe Prophet saw and told him the matter. The Prophet saw said, “May Allah bless the night you spent together.” It turned out that she conceived that night. When the child was born, the Prophet saw blessed him and named him “Abdullah”. Bukhari’s version of the hadith says that Abdullah had nine sons, each of whom memorized the entire Quran.


When a mother suffers the death of her child, there is no one in this world who can come close to feeling her grief and sorrow. And yet, this otherwise unknown Companion of the Prophet saw remained patient with Allah swt asshe correctly understood the philosophy of life and death.


The reward for such patience with Allah swt at the death of a beloved one is Paradise. Allah swt says in a hadith qudsi:

I have no reward other than paradise for a believing slave of mine who remains patient for My sake when I take away his beloved one from among the inhabitants of the world.(Bukhari)



Friday, August 28, 2009

REMEMBERING DEATH.....



The Muslims are encouraged to remember about death..so that we will always do good and steer away from evil deeds because Muslims believe that there is a life after death….Muslims believe the life on this earth is only a transition period that precedes the latter life.


Winning the latter life is the goal of every Muslim. This is achieved through gaining Allah's satisfaction through believing in Him and following His commands and prescriptions. The reward for those who gain Allah's satisfaction and forgiveness is Heaven, and that for those who strayed is Hell. Muslims are advised by Prophet Muhammad saw to work for this life as if we are living forever, and work for the latter life as if we are dying tomorrow. This saying highlights the balance that Muslims are to work towards achieving in their life on earth


Life slips away second by second. Are you aware that every day brings you closer to death or that death is as close to you as it is to other people?


As we are told in the verse "Every soul shall taste death in the end; to Us shall you be brought back." (Surat al-'Ankabut: 57) everyone who has ever appeared on this earth was destined to die. Without exception they all died, every one. Today, we hardly come across the traces of many of these people who passed away. Those currently living and those who will ever live will also face death on a predestined day. Despite this fact, people tend to see death as an unlikely incident.


Think of a baby who has just opened its eyes to the world and a man who is about to breathe his last. Both had no influence on their individual birth or death whatsoever. Only God possesses the power to inspire the breath of life or to take it away.


All human beings will live until a certain day and then die; God in the Qur'an gives an account of the attitude commonly shown towards death in the following verse:

Say: "The death from which you flee will truly overtake you: then you will be sent back to the Knower of things secret and open: and He will tell you (the truth of) the things that you did!" (Surat al-Jumu'ah: 8)



The majority of people avoid thinking about death. In the rapid flow of daily events, a person usually occupies himself with totally different subjects: what college to enroll in, which company to work for, what color of clothing to wear next morning, what to cook for supper; these are the kinds of major issues that we usually consider. Life is perceived as a routine process of such minor matters. Attempts to talk about death are always interrupted by those who do not feel comfortable hearing about it. Assuming death will come only when one grows older, one does not want to concern himself with such an unpleasant subject. Yet it should be kept in mind that living for even one further hour is never guaranteed. Everyday, man witnesses the deaths of people around him but thinks little about the day when others will witness his own death. He never supposes that such an end is awaiting him!


Nevertheless, when death comes to man, all the "realities" of life suddenly vanish. No reminder of the "good old days" endures in this world. Think of everything that you are able to do right now: you can blink your eyes, move your body, speak, laugh; all these are functions of your body. Now think about the state and shape your body will assume after your death.


From the moment you breathe for the last time, you will become nothing but a "heap of flesh". Your body, silent and motionless, will be carried to the morgue. There, it will be washed for the last time. Wrapped in a shroud, your corpse will be carried in a coffin to the graveyard. Once your remains are in the grave, soil will cover you. This is the end of your story. From now on, you are simply one of the names represented in the graveyard by a marble stone.


During the first months or years, your grave will be visited frequently. As time passes, fewer people will come. Decades later, there will be no-one.


Meanwhile, your immediate family members will experience a different aspect of your death. At home, your room and bed will be empty. After the funeral, little of what belongs to you will be kept at home: most of your clothes, shoes, etc, will be given to those who need them. Your file at the public registration office will be deleted or archived. During the first years, some will mourn for you. Yet, time will work against the memories you left behind. Four or five decades later, there will remain only a few who remember you. Before long, new generations will come and none of your generation will exist any longer on earth. Whether you are remembered or not will be worthless to you.


While all this is taking place in the world, the corpse under the soil will go through a rapid process of decay. Soon after you are placed in the grave, the bacteria and insects proliferating in the corpse due to the absence of oxygen will start to function. The gasses released from these organisms will inflate the body, starting from the abdomen, altering its shape and appearance. Bloody froth will pop out the mouth and nose due to the pressure of gasses on the diaphragm. As corruption proceeds, body hair, nails, soles, and palms will fall off. Accompanying this outer alteration in the body, internal organs such as lungs, heart and liver will also decay. In the meantime, the most horrible scene takes place in the abdomen, where the skin can no longer bear the pressure of gasses and suddenly bursts, spreading an unendurably disgusting smell. Starting from the skull, muscles will detach from their particular places. Skin and soft tissues will completely disintegrate. The brain will decay and start looking like clay. This process will go on until the whole body is reduced to a skeleton.


There is no chance of going back to the old life again. Gathering around the supper table with family members, socializing or to having an honorable job will never again be possible.


In short, the "heap of flesh and bones" to which we assign an identity faces a quite nasty end. On the other hand, you - or rather, your soul - will leave this body as soon as you breathe your last. The remainder of you - your body - will become part of the soil.


Yes, but what is the reason for all these things happening?


If God willed, the body would never have decayed in such a way. That it does so actually carries a very important inner message in itself.


The tremendous end awaiting man should make him acknowledge that he is not a body himself, but a soul "encased" within a body. In other words, man has to acknowledge that he has an existence beyond his body. Furthermore, man should understand the death of his body which he tries to possess as if he is to remain eternally in this temporal world. However this body, which he deems so important, will decay and become worm-eaten one day and finally be reduced to a skeleton. That day might be very soon.


Despite all these facts, man's mental process is inclined to disregard what he does not like or want. He is even inclined to deny the existence of things he avoids confronting. This tendency seems to be most apparent when death is the issue. Only a funeral or the sudden death of an immediate family member brings this reality to mind. Almost everybody sees death far from himself. The assumption is that those who die while sleeping or in an accident are different people and what they face will never befall us! Everybody thinks it is too early to die and that there are always years ahead to live.


Yet most probably, people who die on the way to school or hurrying to attend a business meeting shared the same thought. They probably never thought that the next day's newspapers would publish news of their deaths. It is entirely possible that, as you read these lines, you still do not expect to die soon after you have finished them or even entertain the possibility that it might happen. Probably you feel that it is too early to die because there are many things to accomplish. However, this is just an avoidance of death and these are only vain endeavors to escape it:

Say: "Running away will not profit you if you are running away from death or slaughter; and even if (you do escape), no more than a brief (respite) will you be allowed to enjoy!"(Surat al-Ahzab: 16)


Man who is created alone should be aware that he will also die alone. Yet during his life, he lives almost addicted to possessions. His sole purpose in life becomes to possess more. Yet, no-one can take his goods with him to the grave. The body is buried wrapped in a shroud made from the cheapest of fabrics. The body comes into this world alone and departs from it in the same way. The only asset one can take with him when one dies is one's belief or disbelief.