FRIENDSHIP IN ISLAM

Humans are social creatures by nature; they are always in need of friends and companions. Most of our lives depend on interaction with others. Strong individuals are the core of a strong community, something that Muslims should always strive for.

We all know that Allah swt has brought us to life in order to test us. Thus we are here for a relatively short period of time and that we shall meet Allah swt one day, so we need to use our present life for what is best for us in the hereafter. Once we know our purpose and our goal in life, we should seek ways to achieve them so as to benefit our own selves.

In an authentic Hadith, Prophet Muhammad saw said: "Man is influenced by the faith of his friends. Therefore, be careful of whom you associate with."

Prophet Mohammad saw who has the most noble character and dealings with fellow humans gave us a very clear and simple message and advice in regard to friendship.

How should we choose our friends? We should choose the friend that believes and abide by our religion (Islam) and gives great respect to what Allah swt and Prophet Mohammad saw has ordered us. And we should stay away from that who is not well mannered and gives no attention to what Islam is about or what pleases or displeases Allah swt, for he will surely affect us negatively. There is no good in the companion drowns us in sins and displeasing Allah swt.

In another Hadith, Prophet Mohammad saw said: "The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows. So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him."

When choosing our friends we should ask ourselves first: Are they going to help us achieve the purpose for which we were brought to life? Or will they take us away from it? Will they desire for us Allah swt's pleasure or is that completely irrelevant to them and not their concern at all? Are they leading us to Paradise or to the Hell?

Prophet Mohammad saw stated, "The believer is like a mirror to other believers (in truthfulness)." Like a mirror, your friend gives you an honest image. He forgives your mistakes, but does not hide or exaggerate your strengths and weaknesses.

Once the Prophet Mohammad saw wasasked, "What person can be the best friend?" "He who helps you remember Allah swt, and reminds you when you forget Him," the Prophet Mohammad saw, counseled.

Prophet Mohammad saw was further asked, "Who is the best among people?" Prophet Mohammad saw replied, "He who, when you look at him, you remember Allah swt". Such a friend reflects qualities of love, mercy, honesty, service, patience, optimism, professionalism, and the entire lifestyle taught by Islam.

How to be a friend for the sake of Allah swt

"Ah! Woe to me! Would that I had never taken such-and-such as a friend!" (Quran, 25:28)

The one who is always there to console you when you want to talk about a problem, the one who sticks by you through thick and thin, the one whom you can count on to be there for you - this is the person who leaves no doubts in your mind that he or she is your "best friend". You like each other's company and love to spend time together. If something important happens in your life, they're the first to know. You trust them and depend upon them in times of need. They may be a classmate, a colleague, a neighbour, a sister, a mother; or even your spouse! It could be anyone who fits this description.

But are they really your "true" friend? How can you find out? Ask yourself: are they taking you towards the most certain and perpetual success and benefit: that of the Hereafter, or are they going to be the cause of regret for you on the Day of Judgment?

Allah swt says, "Friends on that day will be foes to one and another - except the Righteous Ones." (Quran, 43:67)

How can you tell whether your friend is really and truly your sincere "friend"? Here is another checklist of characteristics that depict a friendship that will lead to success in the Hereafter.

When together, you both:

1. Remind each other of Allah swt when you set eyes on each other.
2. Leave each other's company with a higher level of imaan [faith in Allah swt].
3. Inevitably start the conversation with the Islamic greeting 'As-Salaamu Alaykum', and receive the masnoon reply for it.
4. Do the masnoon mu'aanaqah (hug) and musafahah (handshake) on a regular basis.
5. Almost always mention Allah (SWT), Noble Qur'an, Ahlul Bayt or Hadith in some context or the other, in your conversations.
6. Strengthen each other's belief on the Hereafter. Give each other more duaa's (well wishes) than material gifts.
7. Always end up exchanging useful and mature ideas and thoughts. Love each other above and beyond worldly benefits.
8. Attend religious study-circles/ halaqah's together. Have prayed salaah together many times.
9. Have watched each other cry, out of fear of Allah swt or out of regret for committing a transgression.
10. Listen attentively if the other is saying something that pleases Allah swt
11. Politely point out and reform each other's mistakes or bad habits in the best way possible.
12. Return an Amanah (item placed in other's trust/safekeeping) belonging to the other in its original state.
13. Smile together, but with decent, non-malicious humour. Enquire regularly about the health of the other's family.
14. Become uninterested and change the subject if the other starts to say something that is impermissible.
15. Always discourage the other if they plan to do something wrong.
16. Always encourage the other if they intend to do a good deed that they're hesitant to do.
17. Consult each other in important matters. Give each other advice seriously and sincerely.
18. Never waste each other's time in useless activities. Never invite the other to a place or gathering of sin.
19. Have full trust that they will never reveal secrets or personal problems to others, nor will they gossip about you behind your back.
20. Address each other in a respectful and loving manner. Forgive each other's faults and shortcomings, and hide them from others.

Those whose friendships possess most of the above characteristics are among the fortunate people who can experience a glimpse of the assembly of Paradise in the life of this world itself, where they have such sincere and true friends - friends who love them for the sake of Allah swt. It is they who shall be saved from all kinds of discomfort and pain on the Day of Judgment when their Lord will provide them with a special place, as per His promise.

FRIENDSHIP TO ME.....

I have a lot of friends…but I was thinking the other day..on who are my “true” friends…All of us know that they are so many classifications of friends…the most rarest of all, is a “true” friend – a person who will always be with you no matter what….

And I remember two stories that are still etched in my mind…. on friendship…

Story 1

Two friends were travelling together, when a Bear suddenly met them on their path. One of them climbed up quickly into a tree and concealed himself in the branches. The other, seeing that he must be attacked, fell flat on the ground, and when the Bear came up and felt him with his snout, and smelt him all over, he held his breath, and feigned the appearance of death as much as he could. The Bear soon left him, for it is said he will not touch a dead body. When the Bear was quite gone, the other friend descended from the tree, and jokingly inquired of his friend what it was the Bear had whispered in his ear. "He gave me this advice," his companion replied. "Never travel with a friend who deserts you at the approach of danger."

Story 2

Two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?" The other friend replied "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but an entire life to forget them.

CAPITAL PUNISHMENT IN ISLAM

According to Muslim perception, Islam is not only a religion but also a civilization and social order based upon revealed principles. Islam stands out distinctly among the religions of the world in that its punishment and retribution laws are applied under exclusive rules and regulations, dealing with matters related to obligations to Allah swt and obligations to human kind.

Under no circumstances has man the right to punish anyone for non-compliance with the obligations to Allah swt. So as a result of this distinction, Islam totally liberated man’s obligations to worship from humanintervention and interference.

Life is sacred, according to Islam and most other world faiths. But how can one hold life sacred, yet still support capital punishment? The Quran answers, "...Take not life, which God has made sacred, except by way of justice and law. Thus does He command you, so that you may learn wisdom" (6:151).

Ibn Abbas (ra) narrates that the Prophet saw said: stop the enforcement of ‘hudood’ (limits) because of doubts. That is, do not make haste in issuing a ‘hadd’ punishment to anyone. Rather, if there is a possibility of doubt, make it a base for pardon.

That makes it abundantly clear that punishments in Islam are not for revenge, but reformation, and must not exceed the extent of the offence.

The key point is that one may take life only "by way of justice and law." In Islam, therefore, the death penalty can be applied by a court as punishment for the most serious of crimes. Ultimately, one's eternal punishment is in Allah's hands, but there is a place for punishment in this life as well. The spirit of the Islamic penal code is to save lives, promote justice, and prevent corruption and tyranny.

Allah swt has enacted such punishment to safeguard lives and properties of people and to make them safe as well as to establish a safe society. He says: {And there is (a saving of) life for you in Al-Qisâs (the Law of Equality in punishment), O men of understanding, that you may become Al-Muttaqûn (the pious)} [2:179]

Islamic philosophy holds that a harsh punishment serves as a deterrent to serious crimes that harm individual victims, or threaten to destabilize the foundation of society. According to Islamic law (in the first verse quoted above), the following two crimes can be punishable by death:

1) Intentional Murder

The Quran legislates the death penalty for murder, although forgiveness and compassion are strongly encouraged. The murder victim's family is given a choice to either insist on the death penalty, or to pardon the perpetrator and accept monetary compensation for their loss.

Allah swt says: {…..But if the killer is forgiven by the brother (or the relatives, etc.) of the killed against blood money, then adhering to it with fairness and payment of the blood money, to the heir should be made in fairness. This is an alleviation and a mercy from your Lord. …….} [2:178]. Due to human meanness and injustice, many people cannot even imagine what this Quranic law says. They refuse to accept the clear injunctions that strict equivalence must be observed - if a woman kills a man, or a man kills a woman, or a slave kills a free person, or a free person kills a slave, capital punishment cannot be applied. The Quran prefers that the murderer compensate the victim's family. Killing the murderer does not bring the victim back, nor does the family of the victim benefit from executing the murderer. The compensation, however, must be sufficient to be a deterrent for others. In Islam (Submission), the victim and/or the victim's family are the judges for all crimes; they decide what the punishment shall be under the supervision of a person who knows the Quran.

2) Fasaad fi al-ardh

The second crime for which capital punishment can be applied is a bit more open to interpretation. "Spreading mischief in the land" can mean many different things, but is generally interpreted to mean those crimes that affect the community as a whole, and destabilize the society. Crimes that have fallen under this description have included:

• Treason / Apostasy (when one leaves the faith and joins the enemy in fighting against the Muslim community)
• Terrorism
• Land, sea, or air piracy
• Rape
• Adultery
• Homosexual behaviour

Actual methods of capital punishment vary from place to place. In some Muslim countries, methods have included beheading, hanging, stoning, and firing squad. Executions are held publicly, to serve as warnings to would-be criminals.

It is important to note that there is no place for vigilantism in Islam -- one must be properly convicted in an Islamic court of law before the punishment can be meted out. The severity of the punishment requires that very strict evidence standards must be met before a conviction is found. The court also has flexibility to order less than the ultimate punishment (for example, imposing fines or prison sentences), on a case-by-case basis.

The philosophy of punishments in Islam indicates that Islam provides punishment only as a last resort and the purpose behind is reform brought about through a blending of human values and justice tempered with mercy. Encouraging forgiveness where it is likely to reform and improve things, providing severe punishment where there is clear disregard and exceeding the limit of law.